Hurt the One You Love
Hurt the One You Love
Why is it that the one who does
all the caregiving gets the nasty end of the stick? I went out
yesterday for my second time on my own. I had a great time.
I even took myself to lunch. I then went to an AA meeting
and picked up my 23 year chip. I had such a good time.
On returning home I was told that I was holding my husband as a
prisoner. I couldn't believe that he had said that. This
is so unlike him. But it hurt deeply.
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Two things came to mind in reading your post---first, I was
SO GLAD you had that lovely day for yourself, which you richly deserve!
Second, I thought of dementia (?) and the fact that to Hank the "prisoner"
feeling, which must be very real at times, is foused on you, even though
the source is really the PD, because you are the most important and visible
person in his life. (Remember that old song, "You always hurt the one you
love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all" ? ) The fact that this " isn't
like him", and he apologized, makes me consider dementia, as this sort of
thing is so typical with that sad condition. I know it's really hard, but
please TRY to remember, when things like that happen, that it's the DISEASE
talking, not the person with it.
And for heaven's sake CONGRATULATIONS on that 23 YEAR CHIP !!!!! Awesome !
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I can empathize with you. My wife is slowly recovering in a
nursing and rehab home, and she treats everybody else better than she
treats me, but I also realize that it is the Parkinson's Disease
speaking and it is most unpleasant at times. Keep your chin up but duck
once in a while.
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I have been so busy that I haven't had time to respond to all the posts, but
I think I may have some insight into the above. I have young children and
when I pick them up from day care, they are just awful -- crying, whining,
complaining. The day care lady told me that they behaved perfectly while they
were there. The same is apparently true at school. So why do they 'let it
all hang out' with me? I think it is because I love them and they love me
and have a level of trust in me that they don't have in others. They know
they can let down their guard with me and that I will still love them no
matter what. That doesn't make it any easier, but I believe it is the reason.
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