Thank you for the nice note. I do feel such a connection to all of you on the list I just can't sign off. As to the question of getting a pet or not, I feel my years of experience with animals gives me a little knowledge that might help someone.
As I read the postings, I remember well how it was with Charlie and me. I often wonder if I was always as patient as I should have been, probably not. I wish I could have done more to help him, though I think I did everything I could. I wish I could have made his family understand what he was going through, maybe they would have been nicer to him. He always put on such a "happy face" for them as well as friends and his neuro, he didn't want anyone to know the reality of his life with Parkinson's.
When he first passed away, I was completely unprepared for it and thought if I had been a better CareGiver/wife this wouldn't have happened. I fell into a deep depression and finally had to see my doctor. She, and everyone else, tried to tell me I had done everything I could, but in my mind I had failed him. I don't know if anyone is really prepared for the devastation of that final loss.
I'm trying to make a new life for myself but I still miss Charlie so much. I have every reason to be happy, a wonderful family, a nice place to live, friends, financial security, but there's such an empty place in my heart. I am thankful he had a long, productive life, and did what he wanted to do, he was 90 years old when he passed. I guess no one can ask for much more than that.
I want you to know you have helped me through the tough times and I admire the courage you all express each and every day. There just isn't another place like this list to go for help, love, and support.
Gratefully, your friend,
