How Fortunate We Are
How Fortunate We Are
To have acquired such wonderful friends in the Parkinson's community just at
the time when many of our friends of many years, more than 30, are deserting
us because they cannot handle our disability.....
and there is another dimension, a special depth, in our new friendships...
it's like changing over to another train on our journey through life....
it's special.
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It is so true, that even our best friends desert our loved one,
because they don't know how to cope with the changes. Please try to
understand and accept their feelings. It's like Jesus said on the cross,
"Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do". It isn't their
fault, it's just nature. My love was hurt many times, because people
would interrupt him before he finished a sentence, because they wouldn't
give him time to think of the word to say, and sometimes our friends
would just walk away, because they couldn't understand him. it was as if
he was a non entity. Just love him and show him the best you can,
because someday, he may not understand enough to accept that love.
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Maybe unfortunate in losing the friendship of people who are unable to face
illness or mortality but the CARE list members reminds us of
how fortunate we are to have all of these caring, wonderful friends.
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We were in the lobby of our building a few years ago when a young girl asked my mom why she was shaking. It actually made my mom's day. She told the kid that it's much better to ask than to stare (something that so many grownups, including some friends, seem to do).
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I am the director (and one of the instructors) of our theatre arts program at our local community theatre and I often try to involve my PWP Mom during classes and camps. (After all she has more experience and knowledge in her pinky than I will ever have!)
The children are remarkably curious about Mom's freezing spells and shaking. I've found that if I take the time to explain PD to them, they stop staring and start helping. They are wonderful! After a while they stop seeing a PWP and start getting to know this wonderful, knowledgeable and caring woman.
One of the biggest problems Mom had about finally riding in a wheelchair was that most adults refuse to look you in the eyes or speak to you. BUT in a wheelchair she's on the same eye level as most of the kids!
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You are so right about this being the place to vent and
be understood. One
of the things I find hard to accept is the fact that so many friends and
acquaintances try to make a saint out of a CareGiver. I have heard so many
times
"oh you poor thing you sure have your hands full" I find this remark and
others in the same vain insulting. I usually choose to ignore such
remarks. However at times
I want to scream. To tell these well meaning people that I feel honored
to
be able to make my mate feel loved
and respected. That he would and has taken care of me when the need
arose.
People just have left, although we still have 2 couples that do still treat
both of us
with the caring and friendship that has always been a part of our
relationship.
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