I'm glad your husband had a better day yesterday. Hopefully he will continue to adjust and finally make a good transition. I'm going to see my Mom (my PWP), who entered an assisted living facility on Tues., for the first time since she entered. I've been tied up working since Mon. There have been a few, not unexpected, bumps in the transition. I have been on the phone with them and ran over very briefly to help straighten things out. We will see how she is faring this morning. When she went in, she was resigned to the need for the change, but not happy about it.
The biggest problem we have had has been my little sister with whom my Mom has been living. I feel for her. Years ago, she made a promise to our mother that she would always take care of her. She sees this transition as a failure to keep that promise. She is constantly in tears and fault finding with the facility though she acknowledges that there will be a transition period. I'm afraid that she will become one of the folks that the facility staff hates to see coming. In a conversation with her the evening our mother went in, she asked me if I thought it would be O.K. if she brought Mom home (she lives in our Mom's house) for the weekend. She acknowledges that if Mom said that she didn't want to go back that she couldn't take her. I told her I thought it would be a real bad idea. Who would have ever thought that the biggest problem in this situation would be my sister!
I guess I'm partly spilling frustrations, but I also recognize that the sharing of the process others have gone through has helped me prepare for the present. I think there are so many ways in which my Mom will be better cared for at the assisted living home if my sister will calm down, let her adjust, and hopefully build some relationships there.
My husband is acting out and hurt one nurse last night and tried to punch another in the face. His psychiatrist has sent an arsenal of prescriptions to try to calm him at night but he reacts usually the opposite. The one thing I won't do is bring him home. I can't be beaten up anymore.
In addition, my children engaged a family care manager. I met with her and she agreed that this would be on an on call basis. I had a cup of coffee with her, not included in the price and asked her to go with me as moral support when I signed harry in. We were there perhaps 45 minutes. I just got the bill, $329.27. I will never trust her again nor will I ever ask for her help.
I really feel used and abused at this point. Beware of what you sign when you're in crisis.
